Here's where I finally am today, after a few months of wondering if I would feel lightness again:
I just woke up. Again.
I have spent the last few months slogging through. Doing my practice. Chanting. Going to buddhist activities. Taking care of members, friends, and family. Reading and studying. Sharing the mystic law of life.
Trusting that the fog will clear. That the joy will return. That, as shakyamuni buddha's disciples said, I too will be able to say: "Now I have something I didn't have before. My heart is dancing with joy!" That I CAN see what is. True seeing. And that what I see will be full of hope and life energy, not despair and deadness.
Today I am awake again. I KNOW that nam myoho renge kyo is the key. That there is power beyond our imagining in life in resonance with the essential vibration. Why am I so unwilling to KNOW that the "magic", the power, is focused in nam myoho renge kyo, the name of the heart of all being.
Today I know. Today I am awake.
It sure feels good to come out of the darkness. I wrote this so I can remind myself that the light is always there.
sarah
